I grew up in a household where there was alcohol abuse and domestic violence. I vowed that I would never subject my family to that situation, but, like many others with my sort of history I did just that. I would binge drink until I would pass out. I thought, no I believed, that I would never change. I tried to change my behaviour myself without any outside help, but I found that I would return to drinking. I was extremely depressed and suffered with crippling anxiety. I thought that the only thing that helped was a bit of Dutch courage! How wrong I was. Things began to change for me when I reached out for help and accepted that it was ok to reach out. I gradually began to get some clarity and after two years of working on my issues I had learned new tools to cope with the stressors in my life without reaching for a drink or any other drug.
I could finally see that if I didn't stop I would lose my family. However, I still found the thought of giving up alcohol something I just would never be able to do. My fear of losing my daughter eventually outweighed my fear of stopping drinking.
Things that have really helped for me are eating well, regular exercise and keeping things in proportion. Also not taking on too much (I don't hold up the sky for everyone) and asking for help when I need it. Asking for help when I need it and asking for help when I need it!
Recovery means everything to me! I think the biggest problem with recovery is that sobriety has little meaning until you have it [recovery] for a period of time and the longer you are sober the more meaningful sobriety becomes. In turn, the more your confidence grows in your own ability to live a meaningful, happy and fulfilling life without relying on alcohol.
Since becoming sober I have never been happier. One thing that I do since I have been sober that I never used to do...I plan for the future! It is wonderful. I remember celebrations clearly and I have honest relationships with others.