I hit my version of rock bottom, and was faced with the reality that if I didn't stop using, I would probably die or end up in jail...
I began using crystal meth in 2008 after a person I was living with introduced me to it, and within a very short period of time, I was addicted. I had prior to this, only tried marijuana and drunk alcohol several times, deciding I disliked the feeling of both and never used either again. I was very anti-drugs most of my life leading up to trying crystal meth for the first time, but for some reason decided that it would be fine just to see what it was like.
In hindsight, I wish I had been somewhat informed of how addictive crystal meth is and where I could potentially end up if I became addicted (I was already aware that I had a very addictive personality type). My addiction has led me to experience broken relationships with my family, difficulty maintaining employment, homelessness, increased mental health issues and involvement with the criminal justice system and subsequently gaining a criminal record.
I have no denial that I am a crystal meth addict and that this has had the capacity to put my life into complete ruins and into the lowest depths, rock bottom. Crystal meth is, and always has been the primary addiction for me. I smoke cigarettes, but have never had an addiction to any other drug which I believe is somewhat rare.
The things that help me with my recovery are family support; good relationships and regular appointments with my drug counsellor; becoming a member of NA; enrolling in study; moving into private rental; not associating with any drug users (deleting phone numbers and people from Facebook) and successfully completing full rehab on several different occasions.
Recovery means experiencing a freedom from my life being controlled by crystal meth. It has allowed me to have opportunities that would never have happened when I was in active addiction. It means my family can be proud of me, and want me to be part of their lives rather than viewing me as a continual disappointment and source of shame, great upset and anger.
Whilst in recovery I was able to get a cat (something which I had long wanted but was never capable of looking after properly). He loves me unconditionally as I love him and it has been important for me to have something other than myself that depends on me for its survival and needs to be loved and cared for and that is completely innocent.